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8 Ways to Let Go of Perfect and embrace your imperfections

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Letting go of perfect doesn’t happen overnight but guess what? It IS possible! Of course you are the only one that sets the bar, it’s all in your head. Yes, it’s real, though no-one else sets your expectations and no one else really knows what goes on inside your head.

Perfect is not achievable and only sets you up to fail. It can be crippling and stop you from achieving. It’s time to let it go! Create the life that is less than perfect and be happier than you thought possible.

Try taking on a new title ‘Aspiring NOT to be superman/woman’. Challenge the thoughts that start with the words ‘I should…’.

Awareness is the first step to solving the puzzle. Be aware of your thoughts, be aware of your self-criticism. Think about yourself as if you were your best friend. Would you speak to your best friend in the way you speak to yourself?

Doing things that you perceive are not perfect can make you feel really inadequate. Or to re-phrase, you allow yourself to feel inadequate. No-one else is putting that pressure on. Are your self expectations achievable, sustainable and manageable?

Here are 8 ways to let go of perfect, helping you let go of stress and anxiety and drop the need for perfectionism. Increasing your energy and zest for life will be the ultimate reward.

1. Notice negative thoughts. We wake up in the morning thinking of the things we have to do and it doesn’t take long for the thoughts of inadequacy to come flowing in. Notice them. Pause. Be aware but don’t buy into them. Learn to laugh at them. Read more here.

2. Praise yourself for the things you DO achieve. Remind yourself every day, you are enough. Right here, right now is where you are meant to be. If you don’t like where you are that’s ok. Change is always possible. Just one step at a time.

3. Repeat daily and often ‘Done Is Better Than Perfect’. This is a great motto to adopt to help you find your awesome. It’s way better to get a task off the ‘to do list’ than to wait until it’s perfect.

4. Schedule your day with realistic expectations. Scheduling can help you realise there are only so many hours in a day and only so much you can achieve. Life is all about the journey and having fun along the way. Schedule in the fun!

5. Take things less seriously. Loosen up. Smile. Often. To let go of perfect we must accept that it’s OK to be imperfect. Imperfection is perfectly ok. You are uniquely imperfect and have so much to offer just as you are.

6. Let go of comparing yourself to others. Never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. ‘What other people think is none of your business’. Stop being a people pleaser. Spend that energy working toward pleasing yourself. Doing what you want to do, not what you think you ‘should’ do.

7. Failures are learning experiences. Embrace them. Self criticism can be at it’s worst when things don’t go to plan. When you are striving for perfect, you can feel like you’ve failed on a daily basis. This is not the case! Lower your self expectations and never regret. Failures are just lessons.

8. Drop the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary. ‘If you should have, you would have’. Notice how often you say ‘should’. Re-phrase it to ‘could’, ‘could but chose not to’. Have fun picking up on how many times you say ‘should’. Read more here.

Done really is better than perfect. Let go of perfect. Today. You are enough just as you are. Start by noticing your habits. Awareness is the first step. If you already have awareness, it’s time to work on creating some new habits.

You are a whole lot of awesome. Believe it.

ACTION At the end of your day, write down 3 things you liked about yourself that day. There will be at least three things. Make it a new habit.

 

7 ways to overcome fear and anxiety before a big event

It doesn’t matter what the event is; a sporting event, a job interview, your own wedding, a public speaking engagement. Big events can be overwhelming, if we let them. There will always be anxiety in anticipation, that is normal. It’s how we manage that anxiety and fear that makes the difference. Lots of techniques are available to store in our toolbox of life and grab a hold of (for dear life) when we most need them.

1. Accept that you will feel fear and anxiety  

This is truly normal! Waking up in the morning and having to go to the loo more times than is usual is normal before a big event. Acceptance is the key.

2. Learn some pre-big event breathing techniques

When you feel that total overwhelm where the negative thoughts are all consuming and you feel like doing a runner, take a moment to focus on your breath and listen to the sounds around you. In, out – breathe very slowly without holding tension between the in and the out breath.

3. Meditation is really, really helpful

Meditation the night before and the morning of your big event can help calm your mind and body beyond your wildest dreams. It has a remarkable positive effect and is well worth mastering. You can read more about meditation here.

4. Visualise how you want things to go

If you haven’t quite got a handle on meditation yet (it’s not as scary as it sounds) find a quiet spot and close your eyes. Set your timer on your phone if you like, just for a minute or two. Visualise everything going perfectly at your event and embrace how you are feeling afterwards. Picture yourself going through the motions from arrival to the finish. Focus on having great body posture and remember to breathe.

5. Have trust and faith in your preparation

Big events don’t usually come before you overnight. Have faith and trust in your preparation. If it’s a sporting event, know that your training will help you. If it’s a speech or a job interview, be prepared. Preparation is the key. If you are prepared, be confident. If you haven’t prepared, what’s the worst that can happen? A reminder to prepare in advance next time.

6. What other people think is not your problem

We can never know what other people are thinking (unless they tell us) so worrying and predicting what it might be is fruitless. You can read more about not worrying about other people’s thoughts here. Comparing ourselves to others is fruitless too. We are all unique and accepting yourself for who you are has a remarkable outcome.

7. ‘Be confident’, ‘Be Confident’, ‘Be confident’!

Keep these two words at the very front of your mind, before and during your event. ‘Be confident’. Think positive thoughts. The negative thoughts will always be there but you can learn to manage them (more about managing negative thoughts here), push them aside and replace them with the good stuff.

Enjoy yourself. Moving outside your comfort zone really is where the magic happens.

The busy-ness epidemic and how to beat it

Modern life can be crazy….really crazy! What can we do to change our part in it? Get off the bandwagon. Learn to listen to our intuition. Stop being a sheep and following the crowd. It is possible and the effort is worth it.

We we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

Make time to be in the moment. To pause between activities and allow yourself to chill. Running from one thing to the to the next achieves nothing but exhaustion.You’ve heard it all before. When I hear you say ‘I don’t have to time’, is it true that you don’t have time or is it that you don’t ‘make’ time? If you surf the Internet, use Facebook and or watch TV – you have time!

The most successful people use their time wisely. They have good habits and stick with them. It’s a learning process but it is possible, for anyone.

Next time you hear yourself say ‘I don’t have time’, really question yourself. Is it true or is it that you don’t ‘make’ time. Don’t wait, create a new habit today. ‘I don’t have time’  is an excuse, for not doing the hard things. When was the last time you read a book? Sat in the sun (or shade) and just chilled out?

There is time in everyone’s 24 hours to do the fun stuff. Take time to plan your hour/day/week.

Find a tool that works for you, whether it’s a funky planner from Kikki K, a piece of scrap paper or an on-line planner. Set aside an hour to do a weekly plan at the same time each week and make the fun stuff happen! NOW. We can’t wait to be happy. We need to find happiness now. Not when we get that pay rise or find our dream job or when the kids grow up or we have more money.

Planning doesn’t mean we can’t live in the moment. It actually frees up time TO live in the moment.

Just do it. You’ll be amazed at how much freedom it gives you. You will have time to read that book, to have a cuppa with a friend, to get stuff done. Stop running from one thing to the next and going to bed exhausted every day. The ‘to do’ list will always be there but it is manageable.


It’s time to make time NOW.

Take 5 minutes after reading this blog to plan the rest of your day, allowing time for doing the fun stuff. It’s liberating. Make it a habit and reward yourself for your efforts. Create your own freedom, it’s possible for everyone, including you.

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The ripple effect and it’s power

What an amazing impact we can have on other people’s lives (and our own), in such a positive way. Ever thought about the ripple effect? It’s such an unknown. We can’t know the effect we create and how far those ripples will go but we can know it exists and believe in it. It changes lives, for the better.

Only recently did I become consciously aware of ‘The Ripple Effect’ at a fabulous talk by Christine McKee, author of ‘How I be is up to me’ and founder of ‘The Be Institute’. As Christine says, when talking of the ripple effect, we need to understand that everything we do affects the bigger picture.

Think of this in a small way, such as how we respond when someone greets us. ‘How are you?’; the impact of our response can be profound and have a negative or a positive impact that can stay with the person who asked the question in the first place, for hours. If we respond with ‘ I’m really great thanks’, despite the fact that we may have had a crap nights sleep and moved mountains to get out the door that day, it will be uplifting for you and the receiver. That simple response can have a profound impact. If we respond with  something negative and go on into a speel about how terrible things are, we deflate ourselves, let alone others.

Sharing happiness and laughter, even if that’s not what we’re feeling like inside can change the moment. That moment can change the day and everyone we cross paths with.

Quiet words of encouragement to someone can have a flow on effect that can be really powerful. Sharing knowledge is also extremely powerful in it’s ability to improve lives.

Hang out with people who inflate you, who make you feel good. People that deflate you are not fun to be around and that’s not your responsibility! Notice your body posture when you’re feeling deflated, even your tone of voice changes. The ripple effect then impacts in a negative way and it’s not much fun.  We can only change ourselves, as frustrating as that may be.

Staying in our comfort zone is very cosy. It’s ‘comfortable’ and easy but it doesn’t help us grow and improve our lives.

Become conscious of ‘The Ripple Effect’ and the impact that everything we do and say can have, not just on others but also within us.

Tell someone close to you how wonderful they are and what they mean to you, today. Try a different response when greeting someone. Notice how you feel with the people around you. Be a part of the ripple effect and help change lives, including yours.

‘If you think you are too small to make an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito’

Share a story in the comments, below, of a time where the ripple effect has had an impact on your life.