‘You are such a crap Mum, you can’t even get meals happening regularly’; ‘Are you ever going to deal with that pile of paperwork’ ;’Seriously, who’s going to talk to you, you never have anything interesting to say’; ‘You are always rushing, can you ever get your act together?’.
Many years ago I went to a ‘wellness’ talk and the presenter asked the audience which of us experienced ‘voices in their head’. I didn’t understand what he meant, until some years down the track.
When I write down what goes on in my head I start to wonder if I have a mental health problem. As far as I’m aware, I don’t have mental health problem and feel so grateful.
I am VERY fortunate to have found the ability to step ‘outside’ my head and observe the different personalities at play. They’re actually at war some of the time!
By observing, I have the ability to manage the thoughts/voices/chatter on a regular basis. Not always, but most of the time, making me a much happier person.
We can be SO mean to ourselves. Would we ever say these words to a friend?
The chatter only really stops when I sleep, or practice mindfulness or meditate. I’m sure I am not alone, it was incessant before I discovered mindfulness and meditation.
I am now blessed to be able to recognise the ‘voices’ in my head and manage the negativity. It’s so much easier when we learn to recognise the chatter.
I even have names for the different characters that preside in my headspace, some welcome and others not so welcome!
NIC, the main critic stands for NOT IN CHARGE. Miss Perfecto is there, too – jeepers , she’s a hard task master and likes everything ‘just perfect’. Miss Positivity is present, yay for her, she keeps NIC and Miss Perfecto at bay. If it wasn’t for the fabulous Miss Positivity and my awareness of these ‘characters’, I would be curled up in a ball hiding from the world a lot more often. NIC is so mean, horrible in fact and Perfecto goes on and on and on, she’s never happy.
What I have learned is that the ‘chatter’ will always be there but it gets much quieter. Almost like being in a library, like they know I’m listening and won’t tolerate what I hear.
What do you call the chatter? Voices? Inner critics? Whenever you become aware of negativity, stop yourself and observe. It’s hard at the start but it gets easier.
You can learn to laugh at yourself.
Once I discovered the ability to laugh at myself, I suggested a friend try it too. This friend had been diagnosed with depression and was in a very dark place, very ashamed of the thoughts that went on within. There was an inability to believe that laughing at the antics that went on within, would ever be possible. Thankfully that changed, it IS possible.
Catch yourself and step outside your head. You’ll learn to like observing.
Being kind to ourselves and talking nicely, as if we were our best friend, is super important and it’s totally DO-ABLE!